Yeah, it happens to the best of us…
Sometimes we’re in the middle of a conversation, sometimes we’re doing something and thinking about what we’re doing next, sometimes we’re even in the middle of prayer, and what happens…?
We forget what we were saying, we forget what we were about to do, or we forget where our prayer was going.
It happens to me, quite often. Sometimes I’m able to jog my memory, but other times I’m left as clueless as a brick. One thing is common though… I hate when it happens. It brings me distresses. It makes me feel a bit like my mind has failed, or that I’m not needle-sharp or on point. In a way, I feel like I have lost something of my stature or credibility when I have forgotten something, but in fact, I think what actually happens is quite the opposite.
Today, while I was organizing my files in the basement, I had something that I was about to do, and it slipped my mind. I couldn’t remember for the life of me, and it was killing me. Approaching was the time I needed to leave for mass. I needed to leave by a certain time to get there, and I cut it close. As I was leaving the house, the fact that I had forgotten what I was doing stuck like a tick in the back of my mind. However, in the car I prayed to remember, and it struck me. I was going to change my load over in the laundry.
Opening yourself up to the discernment of spirits (a whole another topic) allows you to reflect on things that happen to you from a place of indifference. I realized that there was a reason I forgot this thought, and I kind of understood it on my way over. I remembered, ironically, that God always gives us everything we need to get through. In fact, He had given me exactly what I needed for the day. It led me to realize that I was trying too hard to hold onto and rely on my own mind to get things done. I think what happened was that He was reminding me to get to mass today, and to focus on aligning my priorities. Had I gotten caught up with the laundry, I may have left too late, I may have been distracted and missed mass, or otherwise.
Then in mass, I hear about the need to be childlike. Ah, everything comes full circe.
At that time Jesus exclaimed:
“I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth,
for although you have hidden these things
from the wise and the learned
you have revealed them to the childlike.
Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will.
All things have been handed over to me by my Father.
No one knows the Son except the Father,
and no one knows the Father except the Son
and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him.”
How often do you quiz a child, and they respond with, “I forget”. When you ask them, you already know the answer, and you do not penalize the child for remembering. Rather, the child can rely on you to provide the answer for them. God is the same way with us. I trust that God knows what I need to know, and though I sometimes forget, He knows the answer already and will provide it to me in due time. I believe that what He wants from me, is to go through life as a child – open to blessings, searching for love, adventure, and exploration. He does not want me to shirk my responsibilities, but wants to help me acknowledge that things will take care of themselves and opportunities will present themselves to accomplish tasks when I trust.